Bay FM - 99.9FM Episode first aired on 22 May 2012 at 9:00 am
Suddenly Single: Dating in Mid Life
In my practice I see a lot of men and women in their 40s and 50s who are suddenly dating again after coming out of long term relationships. For many, this is a very confusing time.
Many ask 'how do I find a partner?'
Can’t Find a Partner?
Have you given up before you’ve started?
Too busy to make it a priority?
Don’t go out much?
Stick with the same crowd, not meeting new people?
Prefer hobbies with same sex (sports) or ‘alone’ (beach walks, surfing)?
We Make up Stories
'There are no available men' OR 'All the good women are taken'.
'There are 3 women to every man' (NOT TRUE)
The Facts
According to Census figures, there are just over 2 million single Australians aged 35-55 (50/50 men women)
In NSW
Under 30 age group: single men outnumber single women
30-60 age group: singles are gender balanced
Over 60: single women outnumber single men
In theTweed-Richmond Region there are 97 single men to every 100 single women:
Byron Shire: 16 076 men vs. 16 302 women
Ballina Shire: 20 770 men vs. 21 938 women
Tweed Coast: 33 240 men vs. 35 081 women
Murwillumbah/Uki 11 019 men vs. 10 750 women
Lismore: 15 836 men vs. 16 658 women
Single people in each age bracket in Byron Shire:
Age
Single People
Single
Men
Single Women
15-19 years
1,664
902
762
20-24 years
927
542
385
25-34 years
1,304
643
661 (51%)
35-44 years
1,363
598
765 (56%)
vs. 49% across Australia
Most women divorce at age 35-39
Mid-life crisis
45-54 years
1,856
830
1,026 (55%)
vs. 51.5% across Australia
Most men divorce at age 40-44
55-64 years
1,037
494
543 (52%)
65-74 years
498
180
318
The Checklist
Do you have an unspoken checklist?
based on...................
Looks
Money
Status
Interests/ lifestyle
What Do You Find Attractive in a Person?
Confidence
Happy with their life
Interested in others, not just themselves
Good communicator
Interesting to talk with
Energising to be around
Where do you meet people?
Many singles typically try..........
Friends/parties
Bars/clubs/gigs
Speed Dating
Dinner For 6
Online dating – RSVP / eHarmony / Chemistry.com/Adult Friend Finder (1,232,451 Australians subscribed)
The best place to meet people is doing things you love, in mixed company. When you do what you love you come across as vibrant and happy - that's what will attract a partner.
Practical Tips for dating online
Remain anonymous until you feel ready
Trust your instincts
Guard your identity
Protect your online access information
Get to know the other person online before meeting them offline
Take precautions at first meetings
Always meet in public
Tell a friend
Stay sober.
Drive yourself
Don't leave personal items unattended.
Issues that come up when dating –
Self consciousness / body image
Sexual health / safe sex
Older (& more wounded) now, body responds differently
Track listing Grace Weber - Everything to Me
Feist & Gonzales - Lovertits
Robin Gibb - Islands in the Stream The Falls - Home This is an Australian track.
District of East - Come Around Now This is an Australian track.
Olivers Army - Help Me Find the Way This is an Australian track.
Tin Sparrow - For You This is an Australian track.
BOY - Little Numbers Bag Raiders - Way Back Home Endorphin - Reflexion 1
Richard Bell - Reflections This is an Australian track.